The good-looking travel host Liao Keyi announced the news of his remarriage a few days ago. It was originally a good thing, but the news that was unintentional was reported, and the number of people continued to increase. This peach-colored wave became more and more intense. I also remember that last year's hot Korean drama "The World of Couples" collapsed when the heroine discovered that her husband had an affair, and the original peaceful life was a peaceful and peaceful life. The drama truly presented the situation of modern society. Can you tolerate your partner's cheating and affair? If your partner has an affair, should you stay or leave?
Shanyu found a hair that was not her own on Taiwu's scarf. She suspected that her husband had an affair. She was helpless and careless to go to work. She stole the phone and found no traces. After get off work, she could not find a spider horse with Mr. Tao. She smelled the traces of her affair. She originally had a peaceful and peaceful life collapsed overnight. This is the bridge section where the heroine of the Korean drama "The World of Couples" discovered that the male protagonist had an affair. The TV series captured the real world scene.
Colleagues who work together, people who often meet customers, and partners in the gym... "What is common in affair is the relationship developed around you!" said Lin Cuifen, a consultant psychologist.
The group "Haojiao Xiangqi" became a red chicken for hosting "Food Player". One of the members, A Xiang (Chen Bingli), was photographed by the weekly magazine and kissed the actress Xie Xin on the street with the actress who hosted the show. After the photo was exposed, A Xiang said at the first time that he and Xie Xin were "full friends", but accidentally surpassed the boundaries and felt sorry for his family. A Xiang's wife Grace finally chose the original story and the two reconciled as before.
What is the reason for the affair? Lin Cuifen explained that there are roughly the causes of affair.1. The focus of one side is on the child. After a wife becomes a mother, she is prone to betting on her children. The husband is ignored for a long time and develops outwardly.
2. Lack of common topics. There is nothing to say between husband and wife except for daily affairs, and their emotions are transferred to the surrounding objects. Colleagues who are together day and night develop feelings, are responsible for the same case and produce revolutionary emotions, often contact customers, often seen partners or coaches in the gym, etc.
3. Midlife crisis. I feel tired of work and marriage, and can't afford to do anything, and I look forward to affirming myself through the development of an emotional relationship.
4.International remuneration. In addition to eating and drinking, business is also easy to go to and from sex. At the beginning, you will do things on the scene and do things in real life. Once you have the help of sexual relations, you will gradually develop feelings.
5. Look for excitement. When life is too smooth, some people feel a little panic, and the uneasiness factors in their blood are ready to move, eager to create a new feeling in life.
When the marriage warning comes up, will it be like breaking the relationship, or will it be left to repair the emotional loophole? No standard answer. Lin Cuifen said, "Affair is just a symptom and may not be bad. It may bring about a huge impact and re-examine the changes in the relationship."
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Rebuilding love from a tile cannot be achieved by relying solely on a personal TV series "The Cialis Wife" There is a famous saying in "I can't go back!" Many parties who want to save their marriage asked anxiously, "Can you go back?" "I don't think I can't go back, I can go back, but it does not mean that I have forgotten the affair, but helping each other understand each other and restore trust." Lin Cuifen said. To rebuild the relationship between husband and wife from the love trunk, we cannot rely solely on one person's heart, but we need both parties to concentrate on our wholeheartedness.Lin Cuifen encountered many cases in the consultation room. The husband had an affair while his wife was pregnant. One of the wives was about to fall asleep and couldn't fall asleep for two weeks. Their physical and mental state had almost reached the point, but the husband was still interested in being with the partner of the affair. There is another case. When the wife is pregnant, she knows that her husband is having an affair. At the first time, she decides to take off the child. Lin Cuifen often comforts her with painstaking words. "Would you like to sort out your thoughts and make decisions under impulse and confusion. It will be easy to regret it." Remind if there are cracks in the marriage, please seek professional help quickly and don't force any decisions!
Affair advisors come together. "Affair advisors are usually useless in single aspects, so they must come together." Lin Cuifen said in a long-term focus. It is very important for couples to come to discuss business together. Lin Cuifen received a lot of feedback from the parties involved, thinking that after going through the storm of affair, their marriage relationship was sweeter and more stable than before.
Lin Cuifen pointed out that the betrayed party usually has many similar psychological courses. The most typical example is forced thinking and emotional ups and downs. If you have seen the other party’s mobile phone video, pictures or videos at that time, it will automatically play in the brain and keep spinning, and emotionality will easily be triggered. For example, when I posted news about the medical affair in the past, many of the parties involved automatically connect when they see the news screen, which is out of control. "It is usually normal to tell them that this is normal, and to both parties, what behaviors, ideas, and emotions may occur when an affair may not pass through in a short time. It takes a long time to digest it, nor does it mean to talk clearly. Rebuilding trust is not an easy task, often One person thinks there is nothing, the other person thinks it is very good. "
Lin Cuifen encountered a case, and the husband invited his wife to come. Because the wife knew that the husband had an extramarital affair, the relationship was ups and downs and cried inexplicably. The two sides were fighting each other, which had a serious impact on life and work.. The husband thought that this would be bad for both of them, but he didn't know how to deal with it. He hoped to get out of the marriage dilemma through the counselor, and also hoped that the psychologist could help his wife. Seeing that the wife was so painful and could not fall asleep, he kept saying "Why do you do this, why do you want me like this?" The husband realized that his stealing food made his wife covered in scars and was drowned by the deep sense of loss. He understood that he had made a mistake. After that, he cherished his wife even more. After about a year of counselor, the marriage relationship between the two was like eating sugarcane, the better.
Another very common situation, infidelity is in conflict between choices and emotional conflicts. The wife asked the other party to tell the situation of the affair. The more the teacher said, the worse the more he said, the worse it was, but the wife kept asking questions and raised the old things again. The husband felt that the wife was unreasonable. The wife couldn't stop, and she was suspicious that she had no sense of security, which caused danger. There is also a situation where some people will be in harmony with each other if they don’t have feelings, and they will not allow any betrayal. They will decide not to have this marriage. This is also an option.
The era is changing, and those who have had sex are no longer completely male. In the past, most of the affair careers were due to the urgency of the husband. They asked to investigate the extramarital affair. Now, two to 30% of the affair careers are commissioned by men to investigate whether the wife has Xiao Wang outside.
5 steps to rebuild trust Lin Cuifen believes that rebuilding trust is not easy. In the couple's consultation she handles, 20 couples were set up, and usually 19 were able to get out of the predicament. This is a path that could be feasible even though it was not easy.1. Set the target. Both want to save them, and the consultant psychologist will help the couple understand and explore each other's emotional resources. For example, two people can chat and like to watch videos together. The past relationships between the two people are harmonious, and an affair occurs unintentionally.
2. Find a platform that can be communicated. When clearing out what impact the affair incident has on each other, and at the same time, making a preview of the couple, the betrayed is prone to emotions or behaviors. "Her forced thinking is not something she can control, it is automatically run out and plays automatically." After understanding the betrayed's journey, the acceptance will increase.
3. Become a container for receiving emotions. No matter what the other party wants, you have to take it. As much as possible, you must let the other party say that complaining is an important ring to cultivate trust, and it should be correct to make the other half's injured heart slowly.
4. Write a record. What efforts have been made in daily life and what are the parts that are helpful to both parties' relationships.
5. Guarantee of love. Trust is not expressed in words. It needs to be expressed in actions and requires constant printing of certificates.
The energy to rebuild love According to the Ministry of Interior, Taiwan divorces reached 51,680 in 2020, ranking first in Asia. Among the ages with the highest divorce rate of "35 to 39", it has exceeded 10,000 in 2020. When there are cracks in the marriage, choose to stay or leave, care about one's heart. You might as well calmly ask yourself: "Also feel how to let go of love? Where is your bottom line? What is the reason for staying in marriage? How to tell if your partner is suitable for me?"
Marriage is a training session, and it is impossible for a prince and a princess to live happily ever after. When the performances of life are discontinued, some people are immersed in pain and slump every day, and live in suffocation; in the same way, they can also choose to face the hardships and difficulties in life bravely, see their choices clearly, and decide how to live in the future, and inevitably walk out of the quagmire.