[Text, Picture/Excerpted from Gao Bao's "Get Out of the Lonely: Adler's Guidance", author Alfred · Adler]
Inferiority is a very normal emotion and the driving force for humans to improve their own environment. It is precisely because humans know their ignorance and are full of expectations for the future that they work hard to explore nature and the universe, and science can be reborn and developed. It can be said that all civilizations have developed based on the inferiority complex. Personally, because of inferiority complex, we will strive to surpass ourselves, pursue success, and realize ourselves. One of the ways to surpass inferiority complex is to cooperate with the association. Children who have not learned to cooperate will be trapped in the grief and inferiority complex and will be unable to extricate themselves. In life, even those who work together for a long time still have to rise and fall in various difficulties. No one can completely control his own destiny. Life is so fragile that one must work hard all his life. What is inferiority complex?Inferiority is an important discovery in the study of individual psychology, and is now widely known. Many psychologists have adopted this concept and put it into practice. However, when you tell someone that he has a low self-esteem and don’t tell him how to deal with this problem, it will be of no use to him, because knowing that he is inferior does not mean that he can eliminate his inferiority. Not only that, he may also be even more inferior sometimes. To do this, we must find out the most in their lifestyle that can arouse their inferiority complex, encourage and treat them contradictoryly when they are discouraged.
People with inferiority complex will deny their value and business meaning in a specific situation and set limits on their behavior. When you tell them "You have inferiority complex", it is like saying "I know you have a headache" to someone with a headache. This is unintentional, and they won't cheer up because of this.
Many people with inferiority complex do not admit that they are inferior, and they may even feel that they are more outstanding than others. So, we don’t have to listen to what they say. Just pay attention to their behavior and see how much effort these people have made and how many means they have used to demonstrate their importance. For example, there is a kind of person who thinks like this: "Even they look down on me, I have to do something so that they can't miss me." People who express their expressions and attitudes when speaking usually think like this: "If you don't emphasize your temperament and dance with both hands, others don't know how important what I say is." The facts show that behind every breathtaking person's silence is a sense of inferiority that needs to be covered up. It's like a short person who can only tiptoe to look taller. Sometimes, we see that two children are taller and shorter than they are, which is the reason. At this time, if you ask the child, "Do you think you are short?" he will definitely not admit it. Therefore, don't think that people with inferiority complex will show that they are particularly peaceful, kind, introverted, and have no conflict with the world.
There are always some things in life that we cannot change and control, so everyone has some inferiority complex in their hearts, but the degree of inferiority complex is different. If you want to get rid of your inferiority complex, the only way is to fight for difficulties and improve the environment with certain beliefs and reasonable methods. No one can always endure the trouble of inferiority complex, even those who lose confidence and think that all efforts are in vain. Under pressure, people will want to take action and seek ways to save themselves. But even if a person who has lost confidence wants to fight the difficulties, he does not have the courage to face the difficulties and overcome obstacles. For this reason, they had to vigorously convince themselves that they had some self-deception of the better. But this feeling of superiority is just anesthetic and cannot really solve the problem. The adverse environment still exists. As a result, the more problems they have become, the situation becomes more and more critical, and the pressure becomes greater and greater. Their inferiority complex will only keep increasing.
If you only look at the behavior of a person with inferiority complex and do not understand the nature of the problem in depth, you will feel that such a person is inexplicable, doing things in a vast way and incompetent manner, and it doesn't seem like you want to change your own situation. In fact, they are just like others. If they want to gain a sense of value, they just work hard and cannot truly achieve this goal. As long as they understand this, they can hide in a situation that can make themselves feel strong and powerful. His goal is to give himself a strong sense of strength, rather than to truly achieve strong results through training. This self-deception effort will only make things worse. For example, people who feel unscrupulous at work may become a tyrant in life in order to numb themselves and gain a sense of value. However, no matter how he deceived himself, he could not eliminate the inferiority in his heart. As long as the living environment is not improved, the feeling of inferiority complex cannot be eliminated. If you imagine your personal psychological state as a river, then inferiority complex is like a slump under the river and may overturn the undercurrent at any time.
The next clear definition of inferiority complex is that when encountering difficulties, we cannot make correct reactions, and we do not believe that we have the ability to solve problems. From this definition, we can see that there are many forms of expression of inferiority complex, such as crying, anger, guilt, etc. In order to understand these emotions, people with inferiority tend to seek more and more feelings of superiority. But this kind of rule of law does not solve the root cause because the real problem has not been solved. They used invisible ropes to block their feet, not to fight the difficulties but to avoid failure, so when they act, they were also unrestrained by the fighters' feet and watches.
This is clearly manifested in patients with phobia on the Internet. People with this psychological problem believe: "There are many unknown dangers in life. To ensure safety, they must stay in a familiar environment." For this reason, they trap themselves at home or even in bed.. The most extreme way to escape difficulties is to kill yourself. Some killers feel that they have no way to change anything and choose to give up in the face of difficulties. Self-killing behavior also contains a pursuit of superiority, because this is itself a kind of punishment for others and oneself. Almost all self-killing cases have objects of hatred. Self-killers use death to declare their fragility and kindness, and accuse the viciousness and forbearance of those who force themselves to death.
This is when the child discovers the effectiveness of the eye, he will like to take advantage of the reasons for crying. When such a child grows up, he will have a higher chance of suffering from depression than other children. Complaints and eyebrows; so-called "liquid power"; will harm the establishment of cooperative relations and make others enslaved. In short, people who are extremely shy, embarrassed, and have strong guilty feelings have obvious inferiority complex. They dare to admit their fragility and sensitivity, but they strongly hide their true desires; they can surpass others at all costs. As for those who like to brag, at first glance, the more superior they feel, but as long as you carefully observe their behavior, you can find obvious traces of inferiority complex.